:-(
February 27, 2008 :: at home::9.30 am
I am so depress…stress…my life is so miserable right now…i hate my life…Ya Allah… please give me strength to face all the challenges and the tests You gives to me… i have no idea what i am suppose to do…I pray to You Ya Allah…please help me…give me the peacefulness in my heart…
I am waiting for the bright light to appear and guide me in the darkness…that will shine my life as a sun shines the whole world….
my heart is crushed into pieces…i dun know whether i can put it together again…
mistake…
Februari 25, 2008 :: at my home :: 12.01 am
i made a mistake…such a big mistake…a stupid mistake…i just feel grateful to have him to guide me to choose the right path…sometimes…when i was acted differently… when i turned to the dark side of me…he will be there to give me some light so that i can find the way out….actually there is inside me…a voice that telling me to do such a stupid thing…stupid thing that will hurt my feelings and others too…i just can’t handle it…am i being immature or what??? i dun know…the most part that i am afraid of is i feel that someone else is living inside me, control my soul and thought….who is that person??? trying to ruin my life…to take in charge my whole life…i hate this person…i am not telling that i have multiple personality disorder…i am not suffered with that kind of problem…may be we call it as the devil inside us…the negative side of ourselves that we do not realize whenever it comes out from within us…
sometimes we are trying our best to fight it…fight it very hard from comes out to control us…or sometimes we fight it from comes into our body and soul..we tried so hard and sometimes we failed…not because we are too weak but because at that time we didn’t know how to distinguish whether it is the bad or good things…we realize it in the matter of time but that time ,it is too late for us to turn back time to the past to make it right…
well…well…may be we have to learn that life is not that so easy to handle …BUT …we can make our life become so meaningful by realizing that we live with other people around us…people who we love so much…and we are not alone in this world…so…whenever the dark side of ourselves wants to come out from inside us…tell to ourselves that "u have to make choices…and you better make the right decision… you can choose to become a good person or you can choose to become a bad person…a good person who can make others happy,pleasant with your attitude and make people love u…or a bad person who can make people hate u and never forgive u when u done something really bad to others…" and after that try to think which one u want to choose…??? this is the decision that will change your whole life at once….
people will tell that there is always a second chance when we had made mistake…ok…it’s true…but how if the 1st mistake that you have done really give bad impact to others’ life…???? some examples….1)a killer kills an innocent person …2)a man rape a girl…3)a daughter/son hurts her/his mother’s feeling…4) a good friend betrays his/his own friend….5)a husband having an affair with other woman…bla bla bla….so how…? yes..people will give you the second chance to change…to repay your sin…to repent…but how about the bad impact that will not be forgotten that leave deep inside us…??? no matter how you have changed and become a different person…it won’t help others to feel better…
huh…too much writing nonsense here…i have been dragging of the story of making a big mistake…so…after this…i must have a second thought whenever i want to make a decision…although i fail all the time…i just have to keep telling myself to make the right choice/decision that will not hurt my feelings and others too… especially to him…
thank you so much sayang for always being there when i need you and for showing me your hands and pull me from the darkness…you were my voice when i couldn’t speak, u were my eyes when i couldn’t see and u were my strength when i was weak…
till now..
-mar-
Uncategorized | Comments (5)Bon appeti
2008, January 10 :: 10.26pm :: in my bedroom
well…my mother n my sister went to melaka for 4 days…so i was the one who have to take fully responsibility to cook for the rest of my family members…ahaks…i luv to cook…but the thing is i dun feel confident to cook…why??? because….my brother loves to critic my cook….n u know what…he will throw the rice+lauk when he tasted my cook that was not tasty…hampeh tul…then everytime i was trying to cook, i’ll make sure that my mom did not tell him that i was the one who cook on that day, but…so silly…he knew anyway…of course he can distinguish the taste between my cook and my mom’s cook…right…? but the thing is…when i tasted it, it was ok with me…my father said it was ok and my niece n nephew eat that stuff without complaining…but my brother…plz….so cerewet…menyampah betul…
mmm i learn how to cook since i was in primary school…from there i develop my cook skill…poyo…so when my mom was away for 4 days…i was the chef…hahaha…so there are my cooking list for last 4 days…
wed - ikan masak lemak cili padi + sayur campur
thur - breakfast=mee goreng, lunch= kari ayam + sayur
fri - breakfast=cekodok pisang, lunch =asam pedas + sayur
sat - no breakfast, lunch=sardin masak cili padi + sayur (i have to cook simple lauk bcoz i dun have so much time since i have to go to my friends’ wedding)
today (sunday) - breakfast=mihun goreng, lunch =rendang ayam + sayur….(hahha..1st time masak rendang)…n then caramel
here are the comments made by some of my family members…
my father - "kalau apak cakap dengan mak kau…marah nnti dia…tapi ko masak mmg ada rasa…sume ada rasa…mmg umph…dah boleh kawin dah ni..dah pandai masak…terbuka selera apak ari ni…"(hahaha…i know that he just want to impress me and nak sedapkan hati je,…but thanks to apak bcoz since long time ago he was the want who always say that my cook was delicious..x sedap pun dia cakap sedap)
my brother irwan - silent mode…(hahaha…he is the who likes to throw my lauk in the dustbin…geram tul..he is very cerewet…and he just like to eat my mum’s cook…org lain masak dia reject…but this time my mun warned him already by saying…"nti adik ko masak ko jgn nak banyak mulut..makan je…" hahaha… then he eat in silence…siap tambah lagi…x menahan)
my brother iskandar - "ntah apa2 la yg ko masak ni… "(eleh..he always like this…tp makan x hengat gak..nyampah ar)
my niece n nephew - always nodding when i asked them "sedap ke x?"….they dun have any choice,,,,they must say sedap or nod their head,,,if not…i’ll know what to do with them….hahaha
my sister - "ala boleh la tahan…." (she always gives this comment…jeles la tu… hahaha..perasan)
k…tomorrow i want to cook ikan masak taucu…anyone knows what is taucu is…??
k la…uits…can’t hardly wait to see him tomorrow…hahaha…miss him so much
story about my caramel…i did caramel just now…from the recipe given by fadhlun… well…menjadi la gak..the thing is my sister "auter" my caramel…put some susu cair cook with daun pandan and add some stuff..bengkek gile…tp x pe…it taste soooo ggoooodddd….may be i’ll give him some to have a taste of my caramel… ahaks…
k…chaw…untill now…see u
arios..
~Mar~
Uncategorized | Comments (9)April…
February 8, 2008 :: 5.18pm :: in my bed room
I copy and paste my personality according to birth month from my friend’s blog… thanks to Fadhlun…. so I must write (fadhlun dalam ira, 2008)…sape biasa buat thesis tau la apa maknanya ni…hihihi…("dalam ira" tu bcoz she took it from ira’s blog…x paham ek…abaikan je…kakaka)
This is from Dr. Fadzilah Kamsah…he did some research bout this matter…
* Sangat aktif dan dinamik. (hahaha….I’m active in a certain time…my hubby knows the time I become so active…hahaha)
* Cepat bertindak membuat keputusan tetapi cepat menyesal.(sooo truueee)
* Sangat menarik dan pandai menjaga diri.(me??menarik???ugly…that’s for sure)
* Punya daya mental yang sangat kuat.(maybe….sometimes)
* Suka diberi perhatian.(yup…yup…)
* Sangat diplomatik (pandai memujuk ).(yes….yes…but I dunno how to pujuk him…uhuk)
* Berkawan dan pandai menyelesaikan masalah orang.(my frenz always say that i am a problem solver for their problems…hehehe…make friends…everyone can make friends, right?)
* Sangat berani dan tiada perasaan takut.(yes…yes….last time I was so brave… going out at 1 am …walking in the street.,..gile)
* Suka perkara yang mencabar, pengasih, penyayang, sopan santun dan pemurah. (of couurseee…muakaka)
* Emosi cepat terusik.(absolutely…)
* Cuba kawal perasaan.(no…no…aku x macam tu…kenapa??)
* Kecenderungan bersifat pendendam.(no lah….)
* Agresif dan kelam kabut dalam membuat keputusan.(hahaha…it’s me)
* Kuat daya ingatan.(maybe…yup…sometimes)
* Gerak hati yang sangat kuat.(yes…always…i always follow my instinct)
* Pandai mendorong diri sendiri dan memotivasikan orang lain.(hahaha…macam yer je)
* Berpenyakit disekitar kepala dan dada.(ye la….betul…)
* Sangat cemburu dan terlalu cemburu(with him….yeeessssss)
k guys…mmm…hahaha…no comment…